Well it's been a while since my last post so I thought maybe it's time to post again. As I start writing this I am not really sure what I am going to talk about. So many things have happened in the past month that I'm not really sure what to write so bare with me if I seem all over the place.
First off J-Bob and Mermaid are both going to school in a couple weeks. Jaden is starting kindergarten and Merci is going back to the Montessori school. I can not honestly say I am overly excited about this at all. Don't get me wrong I know in my heart that we made the right decision, but it is so hard knowing that your babies aren't really babies anymore. It makes me sick and depressed that they are already at school age. It all seems to be going so fast and I can't help but feel that I am missing out on so much by working all the time. I cherish every moment I get with them but it never seems like enough. I'm just not ready to let this part of their childhood go and it hurts to see them growing so fast. I would give anything to be able to have Granola be able to stay at home with them and home school them, but unfortunately that is just not possible with our financial situation. With both in school she will be working during the days J-Bob doesn't have therapy, and the sad part is most of it will be going to pay for Mermaids schooling. I can not express how much I appreciate the sacrifices I know she is making in order for our kids to have a good life. I didn't think it was possible but, I fall a little bit more in love with her every day as I watch her give her all to our family.
Next up, I sold my x-box. I know that's like a sin right? Just kidding. I never thought it would come to this, but I started thinking very heavily on what I spend my time doing, and x-box just didn't seem to top out the list of high priorities. The only reason I really played, was because it was my only real way of staying connected with my brother. Yeah I know there is always a phone, but for those of you who know me, I'm not much of a talker on the phone. I actually called him on the phone to let him know that I would be selling the 360. It was a very sad moment. I felt as if I was breaking up with him or something. :) So after much deliberation I took my 360 apart and headed to the local game store. Once there I was told I could get enough with trade in value to get a Nintendo Wii. J-Bob has been wanting one of these for ever and I thought what a small sacrifice it would be to let my son have what he always wanted. I know my parents made plenty of sacrifices to let me have what I wanted so I thought it was time to start making some for mine. Before anyone starts thinking I can't believe he got another gaming system...., hear me out. J-Bob has pretty severe sensory issues along with many other special needs. His therapist who never recommends any gaming or TV anything said that the Wii would actually be helpful to him. So not only is he getting something he wants badly, it could possibly help him in the long run. A win win all around. I'm sure my brother (Overlysized Asian) will understand the sacrifice made in order to help out his favorite nephew.
Last but definitely not least is my back slide in the religious aspect of my life. Since moving to Arkansas I have not been nearly as connected to God as I was at one time in Florida. We had an amazing church in Calvary Chapel Emerald Coast, and we miss it dearly. If it were financially possible I would reallyyyyyyyy consider moving back there right now. Due to recent events here my eyes have been opened a little bit and I am ready to start getting back on track. I am going to try and read my Bible every day and try and be the Godly leader that God has called me to be. My family deserves this and if there is anything I could give them that means more than time together or even a Wii, a Godly leader is it. I have a few issues with the church I am at now, but the pastor is amazing and I learn so much from him every time I hear a sermon. I can put aside my differences because when he speaks I can hear God speaking through him to me. I never really saw myself taking the kiddos to church without the help of Granola to tame them, but last Sunday I did. Guess what I survived and the kids were great. So for now I am getting off so I can spend some much needed time with God.
Love each and every one of you and have a blessed day.