This one's for me!

I know I just wrote one novel so if your not up for reading another than click on the x in the top right corner of your screen.

I was going to wait to post about the cop stuff, but in fears of losing sleep tonight I am going to post some stories now. These stories are not intended to wow anybody, or for any sympathy, no selfishly this post is for me. Any time I talk about cop stories I tend to lose sleep over a few things.

Lying in bed with my family I can be having the most amazing sleep ever when suddenly I will be overcome with memories that cause me to shoot up in the air. My bed will be soaked in sweat, my body drenched from the nightmares I have and fear will always have. There are two instances that occurred when I was a cop that I know I will never forget. The one that seems to be more pressing for some reason is the Gulf of Mexico instance. I don't know if I've ever shared my true thoughts of what happened in the Gulf that day, but today I am putting it out there for all of you to read. My step mother once gave me some advice I will never forget and that was to put my feelings on paper. Even if I ripped it up when I was done, it was better to get it out there than to keep it bottled up. She knew me better than I ever gave her credit for. Due to my mother having a medical issue I have had some issues burning inside of me all my life, and she knew it and knew I needed to get it out one way or another. Thank you for those words of wisdom and it is you who I give credit to for sharing these thoughts today in hopes of receiving a few more peaceful nights of sleep. I love you nana.

Anyways back to the Gulf instance. My last year of being a cop in Florida I was assigned to the beach patrol. I would run up and down the beach on an atv keeping the peace and watching for distressed swimmers. One day there was a bad storm coming and the water was honest to God the worst I had seen it in a long time. As I neared the end of my beach run I noticed a man approximately 800 feet offshore signaling for help. No rescue personal were even close to that location, and I made the decision to go after the man. After entering the water I knew that I was in for a fight. I have never had trouble swimming away from shore, but today was different. The rip tide was not your normal rip tide. It was like a washing machine going in a circle. You would swim 500 feet only to be ripped back to the middle in a matter of seconds. I finally reached the man and he was already wiped out. This man was a large guy, probably 250+ pounds and now dead weight. I begin dragging the man back to shore, and immediately begin to feel exhausted myself. After several minuted in the water, water rescue teams from the fire department, ems team and surfers have all entered the water to try and help. Boats were coming from the coast guard station, and helicopters were being called in from the air force base to try and get us. When I told you the water was rough I wasn't joking. The boats could not get near us for fear of capsizing. There were now seven of us in the water and we were making no ground what so ever. The sea foam was so thick on this day that any time you took a breath you began to inhale it which in turn made you vomit. The worst part was whenever we would get to where our feet would touch the ground the rip tide ripped us back out 500 feet. The man I originally went after began to apologize to me and my family for putting me in this mess. I had a few choice words for him and told him were all going home today. After about one hour in the water one of the firemen let go of the surfboard we were all so desperately clinging to and said, "I'm done guys, I'm sorry I just can't go anymore." I looked over at him and said like hell your going and with the help of the others put him on top of the board. At this point in time my body is telling me it is done. I had aches and pains I didn't know existed and was fighting for every breath of air.

Here's the part I'm not sure I've shared. At this moment I closed my eyes and started praying to God. I apologized in my mind to my wife and kids, and asked God to please take care of them. I asked that they would understand why I chose to go in the water that day, and to please never be upset with me for making that decision. I asked him to please make sure my entire family understood this as well, and I said I'm sorry. I prayed that he would accept me into his kingdom even though I know I have done things that have surely disappointed him. At this point in time a gave up. My legs stopped kicking and my body went lifeless. In my mind I was gone. I left a wife, two beautiful children, and a loving family. I was convinced that when I left the house that morning, I had seen my family for the last time. God had other plans for me. Seconds later I felt another wave of energy. I opened my eyes, looked at everybody and said let's get the hell out of here. My legs kicked harder than they had the entire time, and shortly after a rope drifted into us. Someone had thrown a rope in about one mile down shore and it drifted into us. We grabbed that rope for dear life and pulled everyone to safety. After dragging the man and two firemen to shore I went to be by myself. I didn't want the congratulations from the Sheriff, news crews, peers, or anyone else, honestly I was pissed. I don't know why but I was. EMS wanted to check me out and I told them if they touch me with anything I would break in two. (I can have a small temper) Honestly I think I just wanted to take time to thank God for delivering me from what I was certain my end. I got on my ATV drove to the station, and was told to go home to re coop. I thought about it for a minute when suddenly another call came in for two missing swimmers on the beach. Against all of my supervisor's request I hopped on my ATV and went on to the next call. The energy was still there. God gave me strength I've never felt before. I should have been in the hospital with the other three from exhaustion, but I was out there looking for more people to help. Please don't take this as a wow look at me story, that's not what it is about, but more as a look what God can do for you story. He's amazing, ask him for help and he'll deliver. Don't go through life wondering whether to believe, because I can assure you He is real.

I'll save the second nightmare for another blog. I have got to learn how to shorten these things.
That's all for now, and thanks for reading.